Can’t really even remember getting that call I posted about I don’t think anyway what with everything going on back then when didn’t think that was when got the call I remember getting about him not breathing and wanting to know did we want to – or not – have them put in a breathing tube – oh me, what do we do; well, learned default at least then was still to do it so when took too long to decide – not to? hm – found out they’d done it and Then is when the doc came to the phone to say he didn’t think it would be a long term life support thing but just an “incident” he called it; probably be out the next day – and was – but also didn’t really “quit” breathing just slowed down enough to scare them – “now” I find that out – now why didn’t they tell me that when they called – now just to say somebody was supposed to be staying with him but found out they’d left, so….but anyway made it through at least once, maybe twice on that

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Had a good conversation with son the other day who’s taking care of dad about the situation with them wanting to put in the breathing tube – or rather not wanting to put it in – hadn’t realized they’d gone ahead and called him as well after calling me after not being able to reach him – and asked him – not sure why, thought they’d already put it in – anyway, just as I thought, of course he wanted them to – you don’t just on the spur of the moment say you’re not going to and just let him die! – a week later, maybe we’ll talk about taking it out or something but not going to just not put one in – at least we’ve got that cleared up and he seems to be doing better now anyway – maybe we can even get him down here for Thanksgiving – we’ll see

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Had forgotten until got back on here and read my last post that it was November, which means it was after he was in the hospital in October, that we had the breathing tube “incident”, but this last one was real, not just an “incident”; he wasn’t able to come off it this time until we finally decided to just take him off; mixed emotions, sure, but knew he didn’t want to “exist” like that; don’t really think he ever would have wanted it in the first place but certainly not to have to stay on it, which is what they were saying this time, with a trach, sure didn’t think he’d want that and certainly after they were saying he wouldn’t be able to stay local if they did; had a nice lunch with my uncle, but then learned later after getting back (not just when got back but later) that while gone some who’d stayed with him while gone (think he just hated to put me through it) that it had seemed that he had said he just wanted to go home, which we finally – finally, long story – did and he did seem to be so glad; wish had done it earlier but it’s done now

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It was so nice to get up to the layer of snow on top of the ice that morning; why? I had somewhere I wanted to go and it’s so much easier to drive in the snow even if there is ice underneath than on just ice plus it was warmer so I bundled up – though didn’t have to quite so much – loaded up my stuff, even if one of my doors and my hatch were still frozen shut; I was still able to get my stuff in, was able to back out the driveway; thankfully, and I do appreciate it, my son had gotten me unstuck where I’d been parking on the ground that had rutted where the ice had melted after I couldn’t get out to go get him and his girlfriend after her car wouldn’t start; guess one of the best presents she could have gotten him for Christmas was the jump start box; better than the ones we had that we never used; was a chance to drive his big 4WD truck (that I do wonder if he’ll still have next month but that’s another issue) and onto the – even though it’s a cross-through – side street still covered with snow; little concerned but just about that time another vehicle did the same thing so felt I’d be ok, and quietly because of the snow, and headed out. Been a long time since I’d been able to be out by myself driving in the snow; so peaceful with so few other cars on the road; so nice. Loved it! and oh, btw, my car is a jeep; that’s nice as well!

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and also remembering that before I started my little adventure in order to keep it from being a little “too” adventurous since I was going to be going a backroads way – yes, in the snow – where there would be no fueling stations I should probably do that while I could even if it were going to mean going in the opposite direction first – eergh! hate that – oh well – got that done remembering then, since I was facing that direction, since I went that way, the little coffee shop – local version of Starbucks? – I’d wanted to stop in at that sounded so good so thought I’d “run(?)” up there; yea, right, in the snow – so, okay, “creep” up there, forgetting the slide down the hill on the way but again nothing much out so made that, to the end of that side though through road by the shopping center, made the turn, then to Fountain Square – though why it’s called that, have no idea, never see any sign of a fountain and certainly not on this frozen day, with even the speed bumps covered over and no sign of life at the coffee shop so no luck there, curb cut covered as well so better “try” to turn around; not so easy either and go back out way I came, back for stock up of “me” fuel; got the hot cappacino there and then – remembered – it was Build and Grow Day! at the local big box home improvement store – and not just any – but – the one for Valentine’s Day – the one where they do the heart craft – the girlie one! – for my 2 precious little – well, one bigger than the other – granddaughters – and sometimes you can get the crafts even if you can’t be there, so…slid in there, right up to the door, asked and yes! 2, if you please, though they weren’t the trinket boxes was hoping for – guess those were last year’s – but baskets – grandma nana bringing presents!

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my takeaway from the marriage seminar I attended last weekend – not even thinking at the time about the timing of it being the weekend before Valentine’s – duh, of course! that I braved the elements to attend – but first, another cross through side road this time getting behind the – and yes, I do believe this was a snow plow – not just a debris plow, like they insist down south they only have and use for – also spraying out – salt? too cold? maybe not by this day – behind – then to the main road – taking it slowwww – seminar being held at church my mom grew up in 10 miles outside of town though they’ve expanded of course and just fairly recently changed the name and regrown – it had almost died out – had gotten down to just 4 people – up to 300 now – but going down the road in the snow made me remember the stories of my family going into town by horse – all day trip – but also as I went around the hairy curve – you know, the kind you normally never notice except on a day like this one –  the one that’s fairly new to me – need to gather the family stories together – of my grandfather I never knew coming home from town having gone to get a load of coal and being hit from behind by a – yes, back in the day – group of drunk teen-age boys – on a wagon, no seat belt – being thrown off into a ditch in that curve that he basically never recovered from but…my uncle has given me a new appreciation for that man – a man who could train 2 10-11 (somewhere in there) year old boys to run a farm from his bed – just an example – he asked about the crop – the plants – they tried to tell him – finally, nothing like seeing – he had them dig up a plant – now, boys, dirt and all, told them how far out and around – and bring it to him – I don’t know; this has just impressed me so much and if I’m not mistaken they got the best price at the sale by doing things just the way my apparently quite smart granddaddy told them to do – now what does that have to do with the title – well, nothing directly related to the seminar or my takeaway except as I’ve given this more thought about my mother and grandmother (is this a guy thing)’s reaction vs response to my grandfather’s accident; it seemed to make them somewhat bitter and/or self-pitying that he wasn’t or at least couldn’t do for them like before while the sons seemed to learn; maybe just a learning thing

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Comment by Donna Parsons on February 14, 2014 at 19:21
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as in is/was it a male vs female thing?

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breakfast with my hub at Hardee’s after we went by and looked at a house the kids were possibly thinking about buying but may not be becoming available after all because maybe, just maybe, the couple who were going to be getting a divorce won’t be – which is good in a lot of ways anyway because the house they’re in that they were actually going to buy first is actually much nicer and bigger, room for little one to grow up in; this other one’s really small; they probably wouldn’t be able to stay in it long until they’d just be needing to move again anyway – to where – to one like they already have – granted, it’s more expensive, which was the issue at the time, especially when just as they were going to move in buying it son lost his job but I cannot believe how things worked out – he applied at another place but then had decided to not worry about it, go on and finish school but they called him begging him to come for an interview and it’s turned out so much better than his other job! I think they’ll make it. got a couple more months to decide anyway so don’t have to worry about it for that long – meanwhile, at work they’re wanting to and training him for supervisor/manager; getting lots of hours – of course, yes, means he’s gone from home more but they’re on a date night tonight so still doing that – they love their house and so much better than the neighborhood they were in before, she’s so much more content, feels so much more safe, feels so much more she can get and take little one outside, she’s cooking more so not wanting to always be eating out all the time anymore spending money that can go to pay for this more expensive but oh so much more worth it place; just so good to see all this seeming to fall into place for them; been a long hard road. oh, and this was supposed to be about us, wasn’t it? well, doesn’t it help when things are going better for your kids

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