Response is what matters
We had our first family Thanksgiving since the year my father-in-law passed away, 4 years ago <pause for respect – youngest son – turns 15 tomorrow – wow! – last night at party when his friends saw the picture of them together commented on how much he still misses him>mom re-married the next year which really hurt a lot of the family and pretty much stopped the holiday gatherings of the family; but this year we thought we’d try something different like going to the local BBQ joint rather than somebody’s house which at least got all the kids together again, if not all the grandkids, not the least of which was middle son, who commented he hadn’t been to a family gathering in 4 years – so was able to be in on the first one since but that’s not really why he hadn’t been – the last one we had he got in on because he was out on break (actually he did miss Thanksgiving so it was Christmas) from having just finished basic training and started his AIT – then had to go back to where he started from, which wasn’t here because he’d left home then by the next year he’d wound up getting married, then having his wife already leave him and his car broke down causing him to lose his job and thereby not be able to make the payments on it that my dad had co-signed on for so putting him under stress so that year we went up, spent some time with him and took his car and brought it back down here to try to sell it leaving him in a mess – that was so hard! but by the next year he’d found somebody new, gotten re-married, was expecting a baby, brought her down here but by then mom was having a really hard time so we wound up there again for Thanksgiving and her mom was dying and wanted her there with her while she was expecting plus she comes from her own big family and Christmas was a really big deal so the prospect of not being there for that was really hard especially with him having found out when he got her down here how much things had changed with the family not having their big gatherings anymore so they went back up there; they came back the next year but by holiday time it was the same thing again especially since they’d also lost their baby by this time, then she lost her mom so it was just really hard for them but this year they came back when they found out they were expecting again so now we have a new, healthy baby and the family got together and they got to be there – he was so excited – yes, to show off his baby but of course that helped break the ice, too, cause of course everybody wanted to see her and that helped bring his wife into the family which of course made her feel more a part of everybody especially with them now wanting to spend more time with her, for which I’m grateful! Thanks!
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