And now the Snow of Today – Can I still be useful?

Don’t know if it had anything to do with yesterday – finished my book on my phone, long story, maybe connected to the Dickens twitter I got the other day – Victorian/Regency – don’t know, had some physical issues, had gone to bed early – everybody else had – but had to get up – not sure why checked phone again but sure enough, msg from dil, re son’s job, other stuff, anyway then got caught up in something else been dealing with so up later than wanted to be, was going to say usual but maybe not but trying to change that but still something must be different because woke up early, not late, like have been, maybe trying to do better about waking hub before hub leaves for work, not sure, but he is going to funeral, didn’t say anything about me going, probably because of all the snow that’s still here (should I try to a pic?) but anyway up/awake when he left this morning so got to have that quiet, peaceful time I used to have, not that there’s going to be that much going on here, but was a debate about leaving somewhat depending on how all the snow was going to be, already had a couple things going on before the funeral so was already in a debate then that got thrown in and the weather/snow on top of it all – had already called about one re the funeral and been expecting an email, haven’t gotten one, so…if not going, at least glad have the equipment, except what with other errands, and not knowing for sure, haven’t gotten it out of the vehicle, which, you guessed it, is out in the snow. The other I actually found a book about, which, also, is still out in the vehicle, which, again, still? is out in the snow but sent my regrets via email re that and have an online study guide can do, been working on. Was possibly going to need to have a convo, though, re some tutoring but that can wait as well. Other tutoring already cancelled for today. And also something else going on that didn’t really understand why with the funeral but has always been a hectic day and wanted a quiet one, so guess I have it that somewhat also involves the whole lunch thing with the one thing, so…gets out of that as well.

But all of this has got me thinking, maybe because of what I’ve been through the last few years with losing my parents – does that make me an orphan now?

but especially thinking of the year lost my mom dad’s grandson brought him down for Christmas that year, 1st one he/they’d been for in a long time, because always concerned about being caught, just like this, in a blizzard but hadn’t snowed on Christmas here in something like 50 yrs. but wouldn’t you know it, it did that year – and he was miserable – couldn’t get out – like me, today, so as much as I’m enjoying it now, will it be like that for me, if I make it to be like him, 40 yrs. from now? hm…

not that I think he would have had a real problem, other than being miserable if he had to stay in; he pretty much never got out or did much in the winter anyway; now, mom, a little different, but then not really so much in the winter because she always had her project going – quilting – and I’m like that as well, need to be working on fixing the space for the frame now or, like saying earlier, having my other stuff in but then dad never got into these computers either, so at least I have that, right? but that doesn’t take care of everything but for now, still have youngest here and we’ll see what happens as time goes on.

But still for all that, as dad got older and especially after mom was gone, he began to feel the need to have somebody with him so he got grandson to move in with him; let’s see, I have a granddaughter, hm….otoh, before I got married I was always taking in people, so I could see myself doing that as well, except dad had a big spare room, bigger than I do, but we do have the garage; well, dad did too, an attached, part of the house two-car one, while ours is a detached….my cousin – here we go again, seems like everything dad did – well, he’s actually his cousin – he would do, he had his granddaughter move in with him, well, she and her husband and her 6 kids – 3 from before and 3 of his, but he had a basement and maybe an upstairs as well, not sure if they had their own kitchen – and then grandson ended up – well, actually not too long – moving his girlfriend in as well and then he has his daughter every other weekend so guess even if granddaughter gets married and has a family; kitchen there wasn’t so much an issue till then; he just ate out but she’s Italian and likes to cook but guess would need to put in some type of kitchen out there, even if just a mini one or could she just use the camping equipment? but might end up being like cousin, with 8 people and he just one, seems more logical to just let them have the house and him have the basement, garage, etc, except he couldn’t handle the steps, so… that’s something to consider here, for me, too, at least if I wanted to get in the house….wasn’t an issue with dad, except maybe for them but…but it was his outside steps/stairs that got him. anyway, she just needs to make sure she is married, though – maybe why son did…grandson was supposed to but…one thing dad never got

Something else I wish he could have gotten was to be able to enjoy grandson’s friends coming in and out; I think he would have had they stopped to have much to do with him. Now, not sure about that aspect with cousin; they had moved from another town or at least he had, not really sure how she’d met him; the previous was local, I believe, and he’d raised her, or at least after her mom left him behind, there’s an example of what hub’s aunt keeps saying she wished she’d had, that her grandson’s mother would have left him behind, guess just all depends, dad’s grandson had lived there off and on for years, really considered that his home and I know I enjoy when youngest’s friends come over, so I think I would enjoy that as well. Just read about a “senior” community; well, really, maybe 2, that are really age-integrated communities where all ages can interact with each other; the seniors seem to really enjoy it – do the others? but here, with a detached garage, would there be that? or would it be more isolated? another, hm…

but I think the real issue in all of this is, As I Get Older Can I still be useful?

About donnainthesouth

I'm a transplant, born up north but raised in the middle, now I'm down here where you don't see too many snowflakes; I'll probably post just about as often (here at least)
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