okay I did tell about dad being in the hospital but also more about what all after he got out but now need to go back and tell more about when he was in there
not sure if it was the antibiotics for the pneumonia; oh, had I mentioned that; yes, that’s probably really what got him in there in the first place, probably caused by all the other more major things, but still…that’s probably what actually finally got him, so,in the middle of treating him for everything else I’m sure he was put on antibiotics for that and we all know what they can cause especially if you’re elderly; now, granted, it takes a while so it took until he got out of ICU and was up on the floor but once that happened grandson happened to come in at just the wrong time and found him like that; so of course he blamed me for still having him there and blamed the hospital for getting him in that condition. Now I still don’t know much but I didn’t know anything then about taking somebody out of the hospital against medical advice re their insurance, etc., thought if you did that you were responsbile for the bill and knew we couldn’t do that but have since somewhat been given to understand that’s not true but also felt needed to make sure we could take him somewhere else; have learned this no not really sure I really knew it at the time just concerned that if you’ve been somewhere else and left another place is not necessarily obligated to take you so they don’t have to and often won’t; did run into that with mom’s doctors, with her switching so much or trying to; ran into some that wouldn’t take her, then would he actually go? well, he might not have had a choice but we had a hard time getting him there in the first place so I didn’t know if I’d or even him would actually be able to do it; now later he said he could/would have just actually physically done it but not sure hospital would have actually allowed that especially but then…anyway the day after we got there, that morning the social worker showed up said she’d bee given to understand that we were interested in nursing homes – uh, no – so we started off on the wrong foot, he thought I’d called them, nope, not me, so who did, then? well found out later ER will often do it if they feel the need so it raises red flags if you don’t go along with it because then they think it’s what needs to be done and they don’t want to let them go with you, especially when you run into what he did and you tell them you’re not going to take care of him; so, well, then what? and then where does that leave me? I’d better not put him in a nursing home, so, then what am I supposed to do? and you’d better not take him with you, so, again, what am I supposed to be doing? oh, I’m supposed to stay up there with him, oh…now talking to husband’s aunt today who said that’s what her mom did but like in so many cases it’s because she’s the one who lived closest to her mother, not the ones who lived far away coming back and doing it. No, I can’t do that; and yes, I know other people do but I just can’t. I can take him with me and if that’s not acceptable then you’ll just have to accept something else you don’t like. So we went around and around until finally he came when the social worker was talking to me and could talk to him and he basically had to talk to her or really show “her” not the nurse that he really wasn’t going to do it and then let her do with it what she would – and now that I think about all that that’s where I got it where the social worker fits in all of this – the nurses just take care of the medical – social worker has been delegated all of this other – and when it comes right down to it you know it no matter how much you want to think otherwise, that it’s still just the nurses and these social workers don’t matter; you’ll find out just how much they do – so when it came down to it he told her he would do whatever dad needed to have taken care of to take him back home – so when I went along with it even though she didn’t like it she at that point either had to go along with or be willing to step up her game. Now I believe all this came from really maybe the ER but was exacerbated by that first night in the ICU when he went delirious; you know what happens is they didn’t know him before that that was unusual behavior or that that’s not why we took him to have something done with him because of that, like some people, like my friend, do, no, we took him because he was sick, but anyway because of that, she could have gotten the ICU doctor involved to testify to the effect he didn’t need to come home with us, that he needed to be put somewhere, if he would have done it, but I think possibly because of what’s happened he, because he was just the ICU doctor and not even a specialist that he had to keep on seeing because they did get his pneumonia cleared up with no lung damage and that’s actually what he is that with him getting over the delirium and even being able to leave the ICU he wouldn’t get involved; the only one who would at that point was who she’d already gotten involved, the primary physician who would have been his who actually admitted him.
With getting called re nursing home, even though we told her we weren’t interested, she didn’t leave it at that; she wanted me to have him declared him incompetent so I could put him in one even later if I changed my mind, now you can imagine what position that put me in; I didn’t want to get into that but she still didn’t leave it at that; she had that admitting primary physician come and do an assessment on him, basically finding him that way, when he didn’t know him either before he’d come in that he wasn’t normally that way but because of pressure from him he did it and then she had him write up a letter to that effect and I believe either she had him get it to her or she got it from him and made a copy of it for herself (she may have come and gotten it from me but if so by the time she did there were already other issues such as the fact that instead of me being given the letter in the first place it was just left in the room when I happened to be out and just happened to be found and opened by grandson first, so here we go again, him thinking I’m having all this done when I’m not. So then she goes ahead and sends it to the county attorney’s office she’s been wanting me to go to to begin the formal process of getting this done but you have to have an appointment and I didn’t know when I could go; I mean, if he’s that bad that you’re wanting me to do this, then how can I leave him at the hospital? that is one thing, unlike in the other social worker situation, she hasn’t offered to come stay with him or rather maybe that’s the point to prove that he can’t stay by himself and actually at that point grandson has not said he would or rather at that point has said he wouldn’t and actually somehow it seems to be that unless I’m staying I can’t take him with me, either.
Now she did seemingly concede that none of this might be necessary; that it could be just all hospital related, that getting him back home in his own environment and routine might be just what he would need and he might be just fine, but I don’t believe she really believed a word of that; she said we would have 30 days to do something after we got him home, which is another uncanniness in all of this.
So she let us take him home with home health coming – and the admitting doctor discharged him, or would it be rather that he transferred him back to his own doctor who doesn’t have admitting privileges at that hospital – nothing bad – he’s just an employee doctor of an organization that has its own facility that’s out of town that dad doesn’t want to go to especially in an emergency situation like this was when he wasn’t wanting to go at all – with the idea that he wouldn’t be well enough to actually go see him but that same organization has a program to come and see him that he doesn’t have, but you could still tell he didn’t like doing it that way – he really wanted to see him again – or then again maybe he really didn’t seemed like maybe he really didn’t want him to see anybody – anyway
he was supposed to have an appointment made with his doctor in two weeks but we couldn’t get one scheduled for almost 4 (or at least almost a month); now one thing that did happen is before then he did have a fall (actually he had more than one, he had one while I was there in the garage and then another one trying to let the housekeeper in one day) but this one was right back out on the back deck just like the bad one he had; (is that on here) thankfully this time he didn’t go all the way down; he was able to catch himself on the railing but they’re just wrought iron that need to be replaced (something else that needs to be done) and cut his arm, just right at time of his appointment so seems to be the reason that’s all they took care of and didn’t really do the follow-up; of course also could be because by then (and was supposed to be that way anyway) he was back to seeing the specialist but either way it was allowed to happen because grandson wasn’t watching; he was in his room; now I don’t think either his doctor, who had been transferred the authority over the home health (although it was the only one we understood at the time that would work with that organization, which found out later may not be entirely accurate but may have been in his situation at that time) even though they tend to work with the hospital, or the home health themselves since they were under the authority of his doctor but then again since they don’t normally do it that way they normally are under a doctor with the hospital and I think had that information may have contacted his hospital doctor in that situation. Anyway the very day he saw his doctor with his arm his doctor from the hospital had sent the other arm of the organization his own doctor is under a letter stating that he was incompetent, although we’re just now finding this out.
We knew that if anything like that were to be done, although we’d been thinking if it were, it would have been by his regular doctor, nothing would be done about it until after he would be approved for some help for him anyway based on his regular doctor. Now he’d actually been approved right before he ever went to the hospital but not for the amount he’d applied for, so when that was done we went back to the person in the organization that had taken care of it to check into it and turned out there was a discrepancy between two pieces of paperwork – fancy that – so he resubmitted it as a correction – then right after that is when he wound up in the hospital. Then we started in with everything I’ve already talked about. Now I’m going to go check and see exactly what that was because I’m not sure I put in some details that are important here.