To be or not to be – disabled, that is

Follow-up to last post re daughter-in-law, in spite of dashing off at the end

After all the ups and downs of everything, she finally went and filed (somewhat again, as in she went last year to do it but was told she couldn’t but either some rule has changed or there was a misunderstanding but we’ll move past that at this point) for her disability down here. Ah, dealing with bureaucracy; she was told to begin with she would need her birth certificate, so we ordered it (because of course she couldn’t have it already – oh well) but I just would not pay the horrendous extra fee to pay for it online and then also pay the extra shipping to ensure it would get here in time for her appointment, so we cancelled that one and rescheduled only to have it come in the mail that day, just a little too late. But the really frustrating part is that when she did go they didn’t ask for it, because if you don’t have they will just order it for you – aaayyy! Anyway, she did get it done this time, so she called the “advocates” (although she kept calling them lawyers) that had told her to after she went but, surprise, surprise!, they told her she would probably be limited by her husband (my son’s) income (oh, did we forget that all these other people we know that get it are not married?) so forget them. These people are a national firm that advertise all over the country anyway, so she then decided to go with a local attorney firm that – again, surprise – my son had tried to get her to go with last year when she was doing this – but oh, no, this big name national firm that advertises will know more than this “little no-name” one will. Oh, well – we find that bigger is not always better. So they didn’t bring that up, just focused on her actual disability issues themselves. She got her letter from the office.

Now one thing that is different from last year is that this year she has actually wound up being under medical care.  She’s even had 2 hospital admissions. She even got a letter from her doctor saying she is permanently and totally disabled, which she also took to this lawyer, leading to this time she even got a call from the actual disability determination office   – bringing up at least one of the hospital admissions and connecting that to why in the world was her disability ever stopped in the first place, with the possibility of going back and pulling up those records – before getting the even more forms that she has gotten before (possibly, except for maybe has she forgotten the time either she got papers to take to her family or they got to fill out when she filed in the other state- anyway) asking both her and my son questions about how/what she is/does throughout the day.

These are the same papers we got for my husband’s cousin’s son that I was helping his grandmother with a year or so ago; however, unlike in his case, in which even though he also had been on disability as a child, he did not want to continue to be considered disabled even though neither was expecting his check to be cut off so abruptly, not understanding about a review since no one (meaning his mother who had been taking care of it) had bothered to explain it to either one of them, so we were doing a reconsideration, again not realizing that would mean having to fill out this paperwork basically explaining how you were disabled, leading to, in his case, he would rather do without the check than present himself as being disabled, so of course that is exactly what happened.

However,  in her case, she does want to get this – truthfully – which she feels she can present herself as being disabled with what she’s going through.

So we’ll see.



About donnainthesouth

I'm a transplant, born up north but raised in the middle, now I'm down here where you don't see too many snowflakes; I'll probably post just about as often (here at least)
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1 Response to To be or not to be – disabled, that is

  1. I’ve just realized in going back over these, not sure there was a last post; I think there was supposed to be but I guess it got eaten and I never realized it but interesting we’re almost back at the same place with the exception we’ve had another baby since then with a whole other story I”ll get to eventually

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