Prodigal Daughter’s Prodigal Son

 some backstory –

PD’s son showed up about a year and a half ago around the first of September 2009 – right before the infamous trip back up north to get mom to bring her back down here for her eye doc appt. when son and dil went with me, came back, then headed back up there and ended up staying until they came back the next spring. So for all that time that he was here they weren’t.  They’d spent some of that time to begin with trying to work out the kinks of paperwork his mom had gotten started from when he was growing up; he came to stay with his grandparents, her parents, they went to the local SS office to get his check transferred, only it turned out you have to let the office that you move from know and you have to do it by a certain time of month, which they didn’t know so they didn’t get it done in time so she got his next check and didn’t send it to him.  And it turned out he was supposed to have had a doctor’s appt. for them right at the time that he came up here that he didn’t know about so his check ended up was going to get stopped but he didn’t get the letter because all of that was done through where he came from and they didn’t know he’d moved and the new office didn’t check his file to find out about it and didn’t actually check with the old office to let them know and they didn’t check the system to find out so the letter went to his mom and she didn’t let anybody know. Turns out not actually sure she even really got it because it turned out she had a special P.O. box for SS business that she didn’t actually check that often, or at least not at the time.  Also turned she didn’t turn in the paperwork she was supposed to regarding his check for the past year because that they’d gone to the local office. Oh, and when they did they told the grandmother she had to be his payee because he had to have one which she had not idea but of course because he’d been a minor even though now he wasn’t but that’s what the doctor’s appt. that he didn’t know anything about had been about – to “determine” that officially – even though they didn’t look into his file enough to know that he had been supposed to have had one.  So since he technically changed payees and took her off she wouldn’t take care of the paperwork from when she was; she expected that to be taken care of by the new one, her mother, even though she didn’t know any of the information from the prior year. She expected that if she “wanted” to be the payee she should/could take care of the paperwork, even though she didn’t “want” to be the payee, didn’t even know he would still have to have one.  So then just about the time that all of this was going to take effect he decided he wanted to make a doctor’s appt – did he actually really know about all this, after all? anyway, of all the times, isn’t that just the way it is, it turned out his grandfather ended up having to have surgery on that exact day – yes, he somewhat started all this back then, only it had been being something totally different – these had all been back surgeries from degenerative disc disease – brittle bone disease – where he was breaking the bones in his back and having to have it fused – so she had asked me if I would take him – oh, and also in all this time frame he was having his wisdom teeth cut out – and then he’d thought he’d lost his medical card (which turned out he’d only set his lamp on top of them) which then in calling about that found out even though we thought SS let them know he’d moved
they don’t so they didn’t know then also that the type he had wasn’t handled through their local office have to go through a main central office and he would have to call which there was no way he was going to go through all that hold and automated menu, etc. so was good thing he found it but through that is when ended up calling his mom to find out his caseworker who when called was at a different main central office which turned out to not be his medical worker but his worker who set up his doctor’s appt. that he didn’t show up for that sent his letter to his mom’s because that was the address they got from that local office so when called them found out who that caseworker was that his mom always worked with and had always gotten everything worked out before for the past three years – 2 before he turned 18, then the one since when things had happened regarding the paperwork she’s been in charge of but this appointment is something different; she actually didn’t even understand herself what it was all about, which is why she didn’t really bother to even say anything to him about it especially since he moved about that time. It came down from on high, something that everyone who turns 18 has to do; it just takes them awhile sometimes, like in his case about a year so actually even that worker didn’t even really know anything about since she hadn’t looked into it either.  But before that it just seemed really strange that the day of his local appointment the day of his grandfather’s surgery just as we got there she called to tell me about him going to this one down there where he’d lived before, for me to tell them to not give him a certain type of medication, that it affects him just the opposite of the way it’s supposed to but of course even though he’s still considered a minor by SS because he hasn’t been “officially” determined not to be that’s not the case with everybody else so I can tell them but that doesn’t mean they have to listen to me, not even his mom, not that that would matter, or even his grandmother or at least they can’t tell anybody anything without his permission and he didn’t want me talking to them but of course he was just being assessed that day anyway.  It was just strange.  Anyway she was also telling me that he was supposed to be going to an appt. there in order to continue to get his check so while he was there I went to the local SS office myself to talk to them about it which was an experience in itself what with the guard and my timeframe but I did manage to get to talk to someone quickly right as I was going to need to leave (because he’d called which was another issue because you’re not supposed to have your cells on in there but how was he supposed to get in touch with me especially since he panics especially since he didn’t know I was going which turned into another issue later) and learned about the medical review which does require a doctor’s appt. to continue the check but which it turned out that’s not what this was about which could possibly have been used but that was another whole issue. Anway got out of there, picked him up, went back to grandparent’s then began to learn about the check being discontinued…but that will have to be taken up another time.

Point being about mom’s handling of being payee which she did keep things going as long as he was there but she felt her job was done when he wanted to come here but it does seem uncanny that all of that was done just as this check was going to be discontinued out of her control.  


About donnainthesouth

I'm a transplant, born up north but raised in the middle, now I'm down here where you don't see too many snowflakes; I'll probably post just about as often (here at least)
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