Hiking is out

was so looking forward to the hike we were supposed to go on in the forest tomorrow – she said it wasn’t supposed to be strenuous – cross-country, yes, but not mountainous, like the last one, so supposed I could handle it even if, granted, I’m not going to the gym, like hub does; yes, I could meet him there but he doesn’t really want me too; guess been thinking too much of machines; almost everybody has a treadmill, it seems, but yesterday visited with a friend who talked about going up and down her stairs so decided I would start doing that so got up and did that first thing this morning, then made the mistake of checking email and finding out plans had been cancelled; doesn’t think I can do it, guess doesn’t want to have to pack me out, says further email says it’s strenuous, must read things different than me because supposedly sent to me and I don’t see anything like that in it, so…

really think he just wants to go to his ham radio thing tomorrow that’s an annual event since said there’ll be another hike later on this month, with hopefully the wildflowers in bloom; will see, normally has me go with him to that – really would like to get the bulk stuff to make the granola but..

just doesn’t seem to have enough fruit in it, think that’s why I bought that last night, so…

but since not hoping to take granddaughter to the sheep shearing tomorrow, will see about that…

see who’s on whose doorstep in the morning and who’s going where when – me, I’m going to bed – youngest will be on ours wanting breakfast

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Hometown Irony

when hub and I were gone out of state last fall, son and dil met a couple they’ve become friends with but seems like some people evidently just need a kick of some sort to get started because they met at a fast food restaurant that he was working at only part-time and far enough away was basically costing him to go to work, now why he couldn’t get a job where she ended up going to work I don’t understand but when she did then she asked him to just quit to stay home and watch the kids – and then got upset at him not working but that’s a long story in itself – now this couple wasn’t married, somewhat typical I know but in this case maybe made it easier since neither of these children were his – I know, I know, just part of the big story – but anyway he decided all things considered maybe just best if he just leave – and that has been what has led to dil keeping the kids, so….anyway, once that happened then…

he got a really good job with a metal assembly, fabricating, manufacturing – something like that – place that does big commercial jobs like for the proliferation of poultry plants in the area – did you know the SE has the highest, if not the only, concentration of those plants in the country? (thanks to a food policy course I just took) with one of them being, not just here, but in my hometown, where he’s been sent to put in a new line in the one up there – inside info, since dil’s aunt is a manager there – so he’s up there now, took a video going on the bridge across the lakes to get there and staying in the very motel we stayed in when we went, so…

will see what happens

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Done

Actually got up and got out of here early enough to stop by the print shop on my way back to the museum exhibit – before any school kids got there this time, although I’m still not convinced it’s not spring break even if the lady I met there did say it wasn’t – how does she really know, her grandkids that were with her live in TX and I saw some kids out on my way back – anyway – feel the timing was perfect; turns out her husband is retired from the railroad and from out west, so fitting right in with the other exhibit making its rounds out there and the book that’s all about it all but..he didn’t seem to know anything about quicksand out there, so may need to do some more checking on that. Anyhoo, managed to get back in just in time to scoot in to the funeral – yes..

the grandson of an older gentleman that went to church with us who passed away a little while ago – who’d had cystic fibrosis and had not been expected to live hardly to be grown but with the help of a lung transplant he got some time ago ended up making it to 35 yrs. old, long enough to meet and marry the sweetest truly little girl – well, a woman, she had a child, which became his and probably good, not sure he could have any of his own – such a blessing to his life, even though pretty sure she knew this could happen, so glad I got to be there, then…

learned that a “friend” if you will that I’d met earlier that had been having to stay with her mother through the winter had just today been able to go back to her home so I was able to have a visit with her – feel so bad for her though; she’s lost her driver’s license – long story – with seemingly no way of getting it back – she’s got a letter into the judge from the driver’s license place that doesn’t even understand themselves why, so will see….

the one thing then I didn’t do was stop by the neighbors because of that so maybe tomorrow…

but got home, checked to see if anything had been said about the uncle and aunt situation – no – will see what happens with that tomorrow – but the whole grandson situation wondering what happened with supposed to have reported but with the report got just wondering, will see about that as well, then

still not getting the right people – just volunteers, so try for that again tomorrow –

then determined wasn’t quite as new as thought, explains why already in the system, just that could have done, in that sense, ourselves, what had done for dad before, but if we’d done it already wouldn’t have made any difference but at least this time – at least I think maybe this is the first time, but now that I think about it, I’m not entirely sure, because it seems as if we tried this before and it got intercepted, wish she wouldn’t do it this way, but this is the problem, too much going on and can’t get it understood right, so will see about this this time, but didn’t go ahead and go through the permission thing somewhat because of it but did find out it’s the whole 11 thing that was causing the problem – probably should have just or possibly still should just do the automated thing but still have other issues to deal with that now have possibly already begun to have problems with so may just be back where we were and get nowhere with things getting worse, especially with what happened today so just have to see…anyway

got through with that just in time to go to my meeting – so will plan to check all that out tomorrow –

hope – with having to go to the grocery – guess still have to eat and feed – sometimes….wish….

but busy, productive day today

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Orphans?

seems to be the theme lately – not sure if it started with book club deciding to read the book Orphan Train – seems nobody’d heard of this chapter of our nation’s history, even the retired teachers – said nobody ever told them – maybe they should go with their students to the library once in a while – where I first learned of it, back when I was homeschooling the kids and taking them to the library – was a quartet of books called – get ready for it – The Orphan Train Quartet – so, being the good homeschooling mom that I was, when I found it, turned it into a study – wonder if they remember it? wonder if it stuck in a subconscious – hadn’t really even thought about it until today – thought rather ironic – that yet another book club that often publicizes – if the paper doesn’t override it with something else, since it’s not exactly local – also was going to be reading it so went and something said that somehow triggered it – older son wound up marrying – well, she wasn’t exactly an orphan, in the sense that her mom was still living when they got married but she hadn’t been able to take care of herself, let alone her two daughters since a while before they even met, which is something I liked about this book; it wasn’t just the story of the orphan train – it was juxtaposed with the story of another girl, in modern times – confession – haven’t actually read enough of the book, been jumping back and forth, anyway, to know if she was actually an orphan, but for whatever reason has been in the modern foster care system, which is what happened to my dil until she aged out and then went back to her family, but of course not able to go to her mother, who was by then being taken care of by her mother, so dil went to an aunt, which wasn’t the best thing, until son met her. He reminds me of the young man in the book that took an interest in her. Makes me proud of my son; he’s really changed her life. And, now, in a sense, she’s possibly getting a chance to pay that back – or would it be forward. Anyway one of the things she gave up in coming down here with son was taking care of her little cousins – she’s the oldest, being the oldest child of the oldest child – took her a while to adjust to having her own but she did and puts her first, at least in the sense of being a good mom and not still just thinking of herself, of course she has gotten older, not old, but…older than the mom of the kids that she’s now having an opportunity to take care of while their mom works, but not just then; this mom is younger, has the two she has now, is expecting another one, but seems to be so grateful to dil to take them off her hands even when she’s not working, not entirely sure exactly what’s going on but she certainly is not a mom who definitely wants her kids with her when she’s not working; has really upset dil about the whole situation, especially as she’s gotten attached to them and they’re bonding to her now to the point that even when mom has them and tries to take them home they don’t want to go. So…today she had the talk with her and told her that she has considered, herself, to go and file for temporary custody of them to just be able to keep them with her until she(mom) can decide what she wants to do – somewhat even besides that she’s got some situations that she needs to make some decisions about; things aren’t going the way she wants, maybe because of some things she’s done, but things are the way they are and it’s time to decide how she wants to handle what she’s done – now we’ll see – there’s even an interesting twist in the book along these same lines – really a hot button with a lot of folks

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Out of the way

So glad son and dil moved down here; at least they can’t do it to them now – can’t believe they’re still slashing tires – yep, that same cousin, only she says it’s not her – of course not – says it’s who, her lesbian friend – well, this time, guess her mom’s getting enough, said, ok, if that’s so, get down to the police and file a report – today – or she said she was going to in the morning – even if this was dil’s aunt – her – the daughter’s cousin – but not the one she used to be “best buddies” with because she’s gone back over to her sister’s side – which she wasn’t supposed to do but apparently dil’s sister’s gone that way as well; she’s staying with the aunt, who they were both staying with the cousin, maybe because of the baby, whose, hers, the other aunt who had a new one late in life that she was keeping for her to work, hm…maybe aunt, sister is now, since she’s been put on bed rest, hm…all because, why, cousin’s basically had all her kids taken away so she doesn’t have the child support to live off of anymore so…apparently she set up a frame to have it appear as if this cousin’s oldest daughter, not by her husband so thought he’d go along or at least not oppose, who gets a disability check for cognitive disability, was raped by the neighbors as walking home from school while mom at work so try to say mom neglectful and didn’t need to have her so with mom letting her spend the night with this cousin – now why not at sister’s – oh, think she had her dad with her at the time – to get her away – she goes the next morning and petitions for temporary emergency custody and – what – thinks the family will just let her have it – thought wrong – nope, mom moves in with yet another sister till gets new place away from said neighbors – who, btw, were proved to have not done it – granted, consent can’t be given, actually not even really sure anything even happened, but she did go willingly, in that sense, nothing actually forcible, though, yes, they did entice her, but at cousin’s instigation, though they didn’t really know what was really going on – but when mom moved she got her daughter back and cousin, for her outburst in the courtroom during private court proceedings because involving a minor, was banned from any contact but still continued to call – until mom blocked her from it – so now the retaliation has begun – who needs dreams and nightmares when you have real life?

But this is the type thing they were doing to son and dil when they were there – so glad they’re out of it – no wonder she was diagnosed with ptsd

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Judge’s Orders – twice

Am I just too old? I mean, I’ve never met anybody at the ER and became friends with them just like that but that’s what happened to my dil, oh, 2, 3 yrs. ago now? I know that our granddaughter was in the hospital when she was about ready to have her baby and we were at a fundraiser for a special needs baby needing to go to a special cancer clinic in TX I believe in the fall so pretty sure that would put it at around 2-1/2 yrs. ago and they met when she was there when she – the girl – first got pregnant so back that up and you’ve got at least 3 yrs. plus, to before granddaughter was born – I couldn’t believe the whole situation, not sure she was the only one or was it just that her friends had brought her then dropped her off – just seemed a mess, and guess I can understand; when her dad found out she even thought she might be pregnant he kicked her out and actually now that I think about it, hm…could almost be the story just read on the news the other day, no ID or anything to be able to get any help for herself, probably because he didn’t want her to be able to, seems that was the situation in the news story but not sure what he really wanted her to do; believe she did end up back with her dad but think only until the baby was born, then took it I think, at least at that time and took care of it but kicked her out again but then know she did apparently get her back, not sure if got to go back to her dad’s or got the child – then not once but twice but next time not sure whether to say worse or better that she basically doesn’t have that one; it’s pretty much with its father and family but at least she wasn’t trying to have to find a way to take care of it but then don’t think that’s really been that much of a problem; she does seem to have had a steady job, such as it’s been but then some of these people – my neighbor, for one – seem to do really well working at restaurants – and seems as if she finally ended up meeting a really good guy there who also worked there at the time, but now seems as if he’s gotten an even better job and they’ve gotten married but now never know quite what to think of these situations with him being – yes, one of those – an “undocumented immigrant” or “illegal alien” but still not sure exactly what the legalities are for those who get married to an American citizen but he does have at least one other child, a 7 yr. old boy, older than her daughter (of course) by a woman who apparently has several children, the oldest of which is 16, not entirely sure if any of the rest belong to him but he at least only has the one with him/them but he does have that one, not sure how that came to be but they seem to have had him for a while, have him enrolled in school, take him to the doctor, etc., with this woman also being here illegally and not being married. So I think if I were in that situation I’d be really careful about going to my child and telling him he had to come “home”; now when I first heard this I didn’t realize he hadn’t been living with her; it was at the end of a weekend, which I assumed was just an ordinary “stay with your dad” weekend visitation but no, so makes sense for this child to tell mom no, he didn’t want to go, so even more seems I’d be careful about continuing to insist, until they finally called the police, at which point she did leave but then after they came and left, she came back; they called them again, she left again, and at that point they all packed up and left to not be there in case she came back because even though he’s been staying with them there’d been no formal, official arrangement made so possible – again, just not sure how all this works with these illegals – she would have the right to get him – except, not sure exactly how dil knows this – but she told them they needed to get to the courthouse first thing Monday morning and file for temporary emergency custody, which they did. Now we thought it would be taken care of immediately, which wasn’t what happened so was a little concerning for a day or so, especially after, I believe, they did go home – (though maybe not, maybe we just didn’t realize at first) but the judge did come through and grant it to them, so at least now it’s official and I believe they’re now checking into her legal status so not sure what’s going to happen with that – with her and/or her other children – I am concerned but I am glad things have worked out for this child.

oh, and the other – nobody showed up for the other side so things are staying status quo regarding dil’s grandfather and who’s in charge of him

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3 yrs. old

I wanted to title this post something different but not sure I really want it out there yet. Maybe I am getting old; not even sure how Reminisce has even come to be on my email but they’re doing interviews of daughters (or at least this one was) with mothers; wish I could have done mine; however, here’s the deal…

turns out in this interview the mother wasn’t raised by her “real” mother; why? because she’d had a “nervous breakdown” when she was 3 yrs. old – and – couldn’t take care of her, so…she was taken to her mother’s sister’s – well, hm…interesting, because my mother had a “nervous breakdown” when I was 3 yrs. old, only my mother didn’t have a sister. Also, this mother had a older sister – she couldn’t help? anyway, not only did my mother not have a sister, but I didn’t either, so…where did that leave me?

I know that all my life my grandmother – her mother – would tell me about it and how why I needed to be careful how I treated her, to be nice to her because she was weak; while my aunt’s – mom’s brother’s wives, who were sisters, so, yes, that means that all my cousins on her side were all double cousins to each other and all had the same other grandmother, their mother’s mother and were all closer to her than they were to their other one, mine, because she was merely their dad’s mother, while she was my mother’s mother – although I felt close to my dad’s mother as well, so maybe that wasn’t the reason, but then my dad was closer to his mother than his dad, maybe because he was next to the youngest and his dad was 13 yrs. older than his mom – anyway they felt sorry for me because of mom but not sure why I wasn’t taken to them; would they, not being her sisters, not take me in? how might life have been different? certainly there would have been more other children around – one aunt already had 1 older daughter who would have been like a big sister to me, while the other one had two and they did somewhat seem that way – the other one also had a son just a little older than me that I was rather close to while the other one had a son later who I was close to but in a different way, he was more somebody just to hang out with not really to be able to talk to, then the other one had 2 more daughters, one just younger than me that I was close to as well then another one 8 yrs. later, so at least I wouldn’t have been by myself. The one with the 2 they both went to college, so I probably would have been more likely to have, even though I did go but maybe I would have stayed longer; the oldest one got her degree but the younger one didn’t but…she did go back later, while the older one of the other one didn’t go at all, nor did the son; they were very different, so guess would have depended on which one I would have wound up with…

However, I wonder what happened to this daughter’s “real” mom, who had the “nervous breakdown” – how did she like having her daughter taken away…

but maybe it really was that way – like a friend of mine who has her sister’s daughter; she wasn’t taking care of her before, but a difference that concerns me – she’s had issues for a long time; her daughter just came in the middle of it all, while we don’t even use the term “nervous breakdown” anymore because if you do have something happen to you – which, btw, what did happen to this girl’s mother – with my mom she and dad had just lost everything they had in a fire – now, granted it either didn’t affect dad the same way or he was just able to handle it better – but, now, they want to label you – and maybe they did her but if so, it was “just” as depressed and they did put her on medication and I would see a difference in her on it and not but this daughter’s mother’s timeframe was the same as mine, in the 50s, so the medication would have been there, at least if the situation was the same, so…unless…

there were other factors – will say, these people were “black” and this was before the Civil Rights Act and I’ve read some things, so…..

at least it does seem as if the mother didn’t have any similar problems, so….maybe all worked out for the best for her, anyway, now me….hm….

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