In 1985

In 1985, my mom was 5 yrs. older than I am now. She died on Mother’s Day – so a day I’ll never forget –  4 yrs. ago, 9 days before she would have turned 85, so she would have turned 90 this year. wow, I can hardly envision that. I’m so glad I threw her a party for her 80th birthday, which I guess then would have been in 2005; hard to believe what happened just a short month after that, but explains why I didn’t get to be there (just like didn’t get to be there for the one she threw for my dad’s 80th either) but so glad to have found the lady who you could get to come set up one for you (through my oldest son; was a former girlfriend’s mom) and invited all her friends, like mom did for dad – they were so glad and surprised. So glad she got to enjoy it before her health started to really begin to decline the next year – maybe because of what did happen that I hate and feel so guilty for. Even if she had already gotten the Bell’s Palsy that she didn’t really get over, left with residual facial damage (that later on caused the ER people to think she’d recently had a stroke). Somehow was thinking she’d already retired by then but guess not. That was the year I met my husband. But she was still active then; she and her cousin were out pulling an old trunk out of an old barn when she saw – or at least thought she did – a snake and jumped back and crushed her heel, then another time somehow fell (but in an elderly way) or maybe even jumped off their back porch (not too high) and crushed her elbow but she was still able to handle those type things then. Not like later when she fell down the steps (must higher and steeper, because realized then had been built wrong) of new house they’d moved to and scraped all up her leg and wasn’t able to handle things so well; that was the last time she did laundry for her church. Her hair’d begun to thin; she hated that so bad. And she just didn’t have the shine to her eyes any more. My dad was 7 yrs. older than her. He passed away in January of this year; mom dying 4 yrs. ago really did something to him; up until then he lived to take care of her, still mowed his own yard, knew who I was and all but after he lost her, he would begin to think I was her. Especially after his baby sister died about 2 yrs. before him; after mom died he took on the role – probably again – of taking care of her, making sure he went to see about her every week when he went to the grocery. But he’d still call out mom’s name. “Lizbeth!” That last year before she died she stayed in bed so much he worried about her so. He never thought she’d leave him; he needed to know she hadn’t. And all she wanted was for him to not leave her; guess she got her wish, but don’t think she ever realized how lost he’d be without her. Really, to be honest, I don’t think any of the rest of us did but then we never thought we’d ever have to find out either. (more later)

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Columbus Day – day of discovery – right

yep, we’re one of those – get/have to take, whichever way want to look at it – not official anymore but get floating holiday so have to use to take day off since the govt guys still get it so can’t go to work – anyway hub off

so long story but decided to run up to his favorite thrift store, see if could find a coat for little – well, not so little anymore – had her birthday couple weeks ago, turned 4 – granddaughter -

got there, maybe it’s this new vehicle but he wants to back in anywhere now so was doing so but not straight so pulls up to straighten up and back back in so stopped to do so and could not believe my eyes; while stopped this lady just backed right into us; not sure what’s going on with poor hub – maybe, like ins. lady just said today, after what had just happened to us, he’s gotten gunshy; anyway he just froze, was trying to get in gear to back up and could have gotten out of her way – but maybe like not taking the ditch with the other one to get out of his way but at least he didn’t try to deny it; but then she got out and tried to say we hit her, that we were still moving – well, I was sitting right there watching and that not going to fly. And she was going pretty fast, for a parking lot, because she really messed up her vehicle’s back bumper; didn’t hurt ours in this case; so cops were called –  because pretty sure it damaged enough for the limit for them to be called – thought she did but found out later he did – suspended our limits on our cell phone, found out. She called husband, turned out her insurance card she gave the police was expired but he didn’t know that husband said they don’t even have insurance with that company anymore so the info on the accident report was going to be wrong but doesn’t matter anyway depending on how he wrote it up, which we don’t have yet, but…

they called today, said their insurance company got their for them, which normally, no, does not happen, at least ours can’t get, but they said theirs wasn’t done officially either, that theirs has connections; well, oh, well, then they said that from ours on the report they called our company and found we hadn’t talked to them yet, turned one in, or filed a claim; well, if it’s as they say and says it’s their fault; well, duh, why would we, our insurance isn’t going to pay to fix their car if they hit us, but now they’re trying to say that hub said he would – well, they then said he said he would “take care of it”, well, after they said that the first thing, which is true, that she asked him was if he had insurance; yes, and we’ll tell them, but then she’s saying; well, what she actually said first; that he said he would pay for it and they were calling to tell us they’d taken it in and gotten a discounted estimate from someone they knew – ok? don’t quite think so but sometimes knowing him, could be but I’m certainly not passing on the info; then said they’d called our insurance and were told either we hadn’t talked to them or that we hadn’t turned in the report or filed a claim; true, we keep forgetting to see about it since not our fault and we not damaged, so called and think they did call but she gone to lunch; they very interested in this, so will see; they to call and really if they did call should have already

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New Pilot

The new vehicle hub got to replace the one totaled in the wreck – all wheel drive, since they make them right, he said. White, far cry from the dark one had before – matches the Acura younger son has, but has decided he doesn’t like, so….what’s next?

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The Wreck

realize been a while but for the first time in a while (how long, not sure, have to look) hub actually asked/expected me to go with him to a work day he’s been going to for several years that I haven’t/didn’t go to – know that year before last dealing with the hospital issues or actually rather when really think about it, wasn’t even here, was at my dad’s where he was in the hospital; anyway, this year he asked me to go, but now I feel really bad; was it because I was with him? anyway, we were on this stretch of this particular interstate that’s not our main one but that we have to go on and the traffic – in the left lane, which I wish we’d hadn’t been on, but hub had just passed this car because it was going too slow but was in the right lane so had passed to the left (of course) but apparently he then, for some reason, had also then gotten in behind us also in the left lane – just stopped; thankfully I can take no blame for anything at that point; I was talking or in anyway distracting hub, unless it was my very presence – that did happen once but for some reason we were going through town then – I think, for some reason of mine – where the traffic lights, instead of being overhead, were posted stationary on the side of the street, and I was reading the Reader’s Digest aloud, which he claimed – and maybe so since of course I was wanting him listen, right? – distracted him so that he ran one of those red lights running into a vehicle crossing right in front of us, which of course just had to be a rental being driven by an out of country – Japanese? – over here for the local Japanese plant in that town – great – anyway nothing like that going on here, so hopefully why hub was able to avoid the same thing; did not hit the vehicle in front of us, not even any swerving involved, just was following far enough behind, saw what was happening and able to stop in time; however, for whatever reason, this car behind us did not return the favor; I never even knew anything about any of this but hub of course saw him coming in rear view mirror; says he never slowed down and was going at quite a rate of speed – well, duh, we were on the interstate – splattered his little car but did hit us with enough force knocked ours off its frame, not easily driveable anyway; we didn’t drive away, was towed to the closed yard, left in ambulance. Just thankful youngest son’s old enough to drive and had gotten him a big enough vehicle to come get us and all our stuff that was in our vehicle, since we were planning on staying the weekend plus things that were mounted in that we wanted to get out, like his ham radio, etc. Got a stay in a motel out of it and breakfast at adjoining diner plus taxi ride there.

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Happy Birthday – not

okay finally going to do this post -

last Thursday the 31st would have been our little girl’s 2nd birthday – waited the morning out on mom – we were supposed to go see her – but she’d been having her own issues – especially with her new insurance set to kick in the next day – found out this morning she’d called back to a place she’d tried before; guess thought it would work now with the insurance but wasn’t on the list so not sure why but that’s what they said when they called though don’t know why they couldn’t have just known that to begin with – anyway we did manage to finally get it done but it was really hard and I think it may have all been connected; she even sent me in to just the little local store, which may have worked out better this time anyway, to get a balloon since they didn’t have the helium ones anyway and people are getting concerned about those anyway so this year instead of releasing it we just stuck down beside her but she was having such a hard time that we really didn’t stay long so I didn’t get to do the other I was going to; instead wound up taking mom out to the ER and getting her a shot then just taking them home but by the time we got through with that and I came by the house hub was already home, a little early, and wanting to get the mowing done so I just stayed here, then he had to go get gas in cans for the mower but still I didn’t want to run off then though I’d hoped we could go together but he was wanting to get that done so just waited then any other night he would have gone to bed early but because he was trying so hard to get that done he just kept going and going; I’d called and they’d said they were open till 10, not just 9, so I’d thought there for sure wouldn’t be any problem but no, he ended up not going to bed until almost 10:00, till just maybe, barely enough time to get down there; it’s not really that far and everything might have been ok, except for youngest son, who normally doesn’t get in until around midnight came in just right after I left; now I didn’t think anybody cared about my comings and goings but he goes and asks his dad, in bed now, where I was, who of course had no idea, so…but I had told them and told them what I’d wanted to do; however, ……

Anyway I’d gotten a coupon for a free iced coffee from a local, to us anyway, restaurant called Jack’s, that I’d realized, when I got it, expired on her birthday so I’d saved it (or intended to but that’s another story) to use then in her memory. I’d thought mom and I and sis would go after we went to see her and did our balloon thing but that didn’t work out then I’d thought hub and I would go but then that didn’t work; I’d even thought possibly niece, who had stayed with her and we’d tried this last year, and I would go but that never seems to work out either, so I still wanted to go even if I went – or maybe by then especially – by myself, so as soon as he went I headed out – guess I could have told him but by then I just didn’t feel like it, couldn’t explain it; well, I could but they’d already said they didn’t understand so really I just didn’t want to have to try – just hoping to make it before they closed; well, they were still open, thankfully, but it looked like they’d cleaned everything up already, until….I mentioned that I’d just wanted a cup of iced coffee and they apparently still had some coffee left they hadn’t quite emptied yet; I’m guessing since there were still several people there they were saving that in case anybody wanted some, so…yes, they made me some but the really sweet thing is that I had actually lost my coupon so was just going to pay so don’t know if it’s because I got there so late or what but the manager said it was “on the house” even after I still tried to insist on paying so then I told him or the sweet little girl who actually fixed it and served me what my story was and it was just so sweet – it just made for a really special sweet memory that I will always cherish to end that very special day – what would have been her 2nd birthday. Thanks, Jack’s! (I did sent them a message letting them know)

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No Zoo; no Lowe either

might be a good thing with the way things are; probably don’t want to rock the boat; what with insurance starting Friday spent some time trying to find a doctor to hopefully get her back on her meds; at first thought reminded of how it was, oh, wow, 5 yrs. ago – oh, yea, right after we lost our first one – when trying to find one – was going to be months – because this time one of the first ones found said would be September! oh my – however, I think even then they kept telling us about this place in our version of our suburb that would/could get you in faster; just seemed so far away then but since has been there for a particular exam so doesn’t seem so far and ended up being recommended again by the inpatient facility ended up calling so ended up contacting them; they’re the first ones that actually wanted to talk to her, then like the whole fax thing dealt with; she tried to call and could not get through but maybe just a day thing because that was Thursday but then Friday she got them; of course it was Friday so she couldn’t promise but of course she was going to have to verify her insurance, which is what the other people were as well and said it would be 2-3 days where she promised her that if she couldn’t get it done yesterday, which she said she probably wouldn’t be able to with it being just that day, that she would call her Monday so apparently she decided she should just wait till then especially after these other people got robbed with one of the things being her food stamps card, which she was supposed to get yesterday but of course had had to order a new card so had no way of getting them even if they were put on it, which is what happened before, so when it’s time for that seems to take precedence although with the way she’d been feeling they didn’t go buy groceries last time anyway but in one sense she is feeling better right now; just doesn’t want to rock the boat; so they did go buy groceries but not till today after they got the other situation taken care of, where usually they would have done it last night plus then she said he’s having vehicle issues, which, if she’d wanted to go, we and/or they would probably have taken ours but maybe not a bad idea; like somebody said today maybe life needs to be more home centered anyway.

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No Clinic; Zoo? but first of the month

Amazing; everything was fine yesterday so no trip to the clinic, since of course we’re not going unless we actually have something going on right then, at least for something like that; we are waiting for a call back from a regular doc, however, when they get the insurance verified; said no longer than 2 weeks so will see about that; was talk about going to the zoo today; cheap $5 admission today; silly me, assumed since I was told about it, was an invite, until I made bold to ask about it as well and was asked if I were wanting to go – well, no, guess not, that’s ok, which I really do want it to be; don’t want to get into mindset of thinking have to go and participate in everything they do; had my time but would have been fun; was thinking we’d both go but forgot hub has ham radio testing; well, maybe not every month but they do it every month just not sure if they put him on the roster to actually do it every time; not necessarily I think, but is on for this one so would have had to make plans at least a week ahead to not be but of course didn’t know about this that soon but then not sure why because I’m sure it was planned so wasn’t going to try to change now, then thought I was going but couldn’t think what for and especially after had decided to leave free but then never heard anything; ok, got an email for something been wanting to do anyway so was finally able to get started on that and even better than in the past, again, not sure if something’s happened with that or not but..in the middle of all that son got paid yesterday, being typical Friday but not so typical for it to be the first of the month – you know all those people that didn’t have to work all day or week or month to get their monthly check had all already been to the store and gotten theirs cashed so by the time poor son got his and went they were all already out of money; he really does need to get his bank stuff straightened however but that’s a different story; just rather annoyed over that

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